I have crippling anxiety and used to think it was normal.

I have crippling anxiety and used to think it was normal. I thought everyone felt that way, and I couldn't understand why people didn't understand me and my behavior - it made me distance myself from people. It was a battle from as early as I can remember, and still is to this day. I am 20 years old and 80% of the progress I have made has been made in the past 2 years. There was even a very brief period of time that I self-harmed when I was 16, still to this day I can count on one hand how many people know that about me. I feel weak when I tell people about this side of me; I carry out this facade of being confident and resilient, but behind that wall my mind is constantly overthinking. That text I sent to a cute boy 3 days ago? On replay in my mind. That question I asked in class? I keep wondering if I seemed stupid. My thoughts are always racing and trying to guess what others think about me. Oddly though, all my progress throughout my life has been made by someone (usually my mom) forcing me out of my comfort zone and putting me in really difficult, and sometimes painful, situations. So I try to remember that - anytime I'm miserable, I know that maybe I'm growing from it.

Anonymous