If you loved me.... would you still hurt me?

If you loved me.... would you still hurt me? You told me you loved me, but all you did was hurt me. 

I was 14. The guy I was dating (for a year and a half at this point) told me how terrible I was.. the way I looked to the way i laughed. He controlled my friends, my social media, and the activities I did, but it was followed by three words I LOVE YOU. 

Three words that meant so much yet so little. He would push me, punch me, and then try to have sex with me. I thought it was normal. I was with him for 3 years before I realized I had to get away. The hurt, the pain, and scaring he left behind eats me away. 

I’m in college now. I have a new boyfriend who treats me right ( well I think so but I’m not sure how to be treated). My version of the words I love you have been stained. My reality has been shifted. Little words like “you are worthless”, “you’re sisters are better looking than you”, “how did you end up fat”, and more have consumed my soul. Not a moment goes by where I don’t think of those words, but I grow from them now. 

What man would tell some they “love” terrible things. Who was I to say I loved that. Who was I to say I needed that? I’ve overcome the hardships. I have become confident. More importantly, I’ve become the amazing person I am today. 

Abuse isn’t okay, but overcoming it. That’s the incredible feeling. 
To anyone out there going through it. You’re worth more than diamonds. SHINE BRIGHT .