Listen, Lucy: Sometimes I feel that I don't do enough. I wake up and I can't feel. I can't breathe.
I want people to like me, or at least acknowledge my existence. I feel that I should try harder to feel. To be normal and have friends and just... function. I've started to hate myself. Started to slip through the cracks of my mind, into loneliness. I just want someone to love me. I don't want to feel persecuted. I want to laugh. I want to smile. What if the only way to feel okay is to stop feeling? I'm not suicidal, but some days I might as well be. I feel like I'm underwater, sinking and sinking and trying to breathe. But nobody hears my calls. Nobody pulls me above the surface.