You know sometimes the sensei learns much from the grasshopper. As I age, that’s how I feel. I thank you for that.
Most days I am under control but some days I’m off. I wish this wasn’t so but it is.
About a month ago, I was playing golf on a local course. I was on #7 and was only playing 9. I was by myself and the course was not crowded so I was playing multiple balls – just getting some practice in. I didn’t notice it right away, but the group following me had caught up to me and when one of the guys in the group saw me playing a second ball he yelled something negative to me. He was about 300 yards away and if I’m being truthful, I responded by giving him half a peace sign, although I don’t think he saw it from that distance. His next response was yelling and calling me an ***hole, which in turn, resulted in me responding in kind. His next move was driving his cart towards me which, in turn, caused me to begin running towards him. When we came together, we were so close that we could tell what each other had for breakfast. An intense verbal exchange ensued and only by the grace of God, did 2 sixty-somethings avoid rolling around on #7’s fairway.
I generally regard emotions as a very good thing. But I got, got, got to be able to keep control. For me, this is a work in progress.
When I got back in the club house after 9, my senses finally came to me. By now, my new buddy was on #9’s green. I walked over to him and apologized and he apologized back. My apology was I’m sorry I lost my temper back there. His, don’t take it personal, I call everyone an ***hole.
This time my filter was on. I let his last comment go.
Usually, I don’t let things like this get to me, but on certain days, --it happens -- a triggering event. I’ve got to know, in advance, when I am vulnerable and be able control my emotions.
I have been feeling anxious lately. Not sure why. When this happens, even the slightest thing disrupts my logical thinking process. Today, scheduling conflicts had me on edge. When I get like this, my mind becomes consumed with the issue. It’s real. I can’t shake it. On these types of days, I can almost guarantee the outcome is going to be ugly. But, not today.
Today I took a different approach. There were 2 bags of clothes in my car that I had been meaning to drop off to a needy friend. In the midst of the busyness that was consuming me, I made a decision to stop everything and take time to be kind. The second I decided to deliver the goods, my whole disposition changed. A peaceful, easy feeling came over me – I began to notice – the sun was brightly shining.
I’ve heard it said before, kindness doesn’t cost a thing….sprinkle it everywhere.
"Kindness is never wasted. It always makes a difference. It blesses the one who receives it, and it blesses you, the giver."
Today, kindness was my medicine.