What I’ve learned.
Like many other people, I’ve spent a lot of time beating myself up for what I haven’t done yet. I’ve set expectations for myself that were too big or overwhelming that instead of motivating me, they made me feel stuck. Thankfully, I am now at a point in my life where I don’t feel the self-imposed pressure that I used to and I’m going to share with you how I got here.
First, stop “shoulding” all over yourself. I should be in a relationship by now, I should have a stable career, I should have a family, I should live here, or go there or do this or that. STOP! When you find yourself in a sea full of shoulds, say to yourself “I am here now.” Allow this statement, or any other you can think of, to help pull you back into the present moment. Who or what made you think that what you are doing or have right now is not enough? It is, and so are you.
Next, start from where you are. A lot of the time, we get so overwhelmed with the things we want that we start to list all the reasons why we don’t have them yet. Instead, think of one thing, however small it may seem that you can do right now to get you where you want to be. This could be sending an email, making a phone call, writing a list, etc. Once you do that first thing, it will be a lot easier to see clearly what your next step is.
Lastly, practice gratitude. By spending a few minutes a day thinking of or writing down what you are grateful for, you will see how much good you have in your life. This helps bring everything into perspective. My message isn’t to stop setting goals for your life, it is to take everything one step at a time, remove some of the pressure, and enjoy every second of your journey.