No matter how hard I try...

Listen, Lucy,

No matter how hard I try, the world falls around me. Ever since I was little it seems that everything I care about is ripped away in the worst way.

At 4 I lost my mom to her depression, at 5 I lost all my possessions in a fire, at 6 I almost lost my dad to mental illness but luckily he pulled through. Things went okay after that, for a while.

At 14 I lost my virginity (sexual assault).

Then I began to self harm. And do should drugs. And I've smoked cigarettes since I was 13.

But things eventually do get better.

Here I am today, 20 years old, an 18 month old son and engaged. I've been drug free for two years and self harm free for 3. I quit smoking this week and I'm just holding onto the hope that I can be strong enough to keep free of my demons.

I suffer from PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, depression and misophonia.


Today I am stronger than yesterday.

Thank you for reading xo.