A girl stole my heart a month and a half ago....for better or for worse, she touched me, changed me, and took something big from me.
Stop putting periods in your texts its not nice. I tried my best. I gave it all I had and it wasn’t enough and I could apologize for weeks about what I did. I’m not f***king proud of it, and I don’t fully understand it yet...I know I did it to myself, to you, to us and I’m taking responsibility. If you want to talk to me in the future I’m open to discussion but I will not sit passively while you attempt to tell me I’m a shitty person. I know you;ve been through hell and back, had your heart stomped on, etc and I am not denying your experiences and I am NOT denying your pain. But I will not deny my own. Over the past few weeks I’ve been homeless, broke, sexually assaulted, and thought about ending it quite often. These are things I don’t tell people because I know they’re scary and not pretty and cute. I’m keeping my f***ing chin up. But the truth is he was there when I needed someone and you were not. I cried my f***ing eyes out when you couldn’t come to that concert, not gonna lie. I know thats extreme and irrational but so is love and so are 20 year old girls. I truly love you and I am so happy I had the opportunity to even be graced with your presence. Not even f***ing joking. you showed me my potential and I believe you do that with many people. You are so talented and amazing. But you aren’t here. I need stability. I need a home. I need somewhere safe to get sleazy boys off me and cry my eyes out and figure out my hopes and dreams and what to do with this ridiculous weird f***ed up talent. I have so much love for you and I even wrote a stupid song about you (hehe). I hope someday you have it in you to forgive me but believe me, I understand fully if you don’t. All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you for the opportunity to know you, touch you, be touched by you. I feel so lucky and happy and at the same time so sad. I would suggest re-thinking your opinion of me as a “shitty person.” I’m not sure if we’ve had similar experiences but once you’ve starved yourself, hurt yourself, cried yourself to sleep every f***ing night, been touched by countless boys who don’t have any respect or permission to touch you, been called a spoiled f***ing brat by your parents and been in deep depression for half of your waking life, then you can tell me I’m a shitty person. Again THANK YOU, all I have is LOVE for you, I want the best for you. You are truly special and amazing and there is no one quite like you in the world. Good luck with everything Jenny️️️ Don’t hate me too too much, please please please. te quiero tanto y ya te echo de menos. adiosssss chiquita
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."