When I was little I wanted to be many things; an artist, a veterinarian, an artist, a cop, an artist...

Listen, Lucy.

When I was little I wanted to be many things; an artist, a veterinarian, an artist, a cop, an artist... I’m currently 19 years old, a year and a half into college, and majoring in political science. And I’m pretty sure I f*cked up. I’ve began realizing that when I decided I didn’t want to go to vet school in 11th grade, and just picked a career path that would let me travel, I should’ve thought it through more. Or just gone into college as undecided like a normal person. But I didn’t do that, and after next semester I’ll be 5 units into a major I don’t think I’m interested in.

I’ve always been a relatively creative person. My friends tell me I can draw really well, sometimes I agree with them, sometimes I don’t. I like to sing, not particularly well, but I’ve never been told I’m tone deaf so I’ve got that going for me. I’ve always wanted to try acting, but have never been brave enough to try. I pick up instruments and languages relatively well. This all sounds great, but I’ve never been able to stick with anything for long. Honestly, I’m surprised I even draw still.

I’m trying something new though. I’ve started a YouTube channel. Now, I know the chances of that taking me somewhere good aren’t very high, but that’s not really the reason I’m doing it. I mean, obviously there’s that hope there but still. Its fun, but I’m not particularly loud or energetic. Nor am I comfortable walking around in public talking to my phone camera but hopefully that’ll change.

Somewhere along the lines I lost my creativity. I don’t know where, and I never quite lost it fully but it’s not as strong as it was when I was a little kid. I’m hoping making YouTube videos will help me get my creativity back. I hope that creating something will help me figure out who I am, and who I want to be. But until I figure that out, I’ll still be majoring in politics. The farthest thing from being creative as I can be.