I can’t tell you the amount of times I have discussed my anxiety disorder.

I can’t tell you the amount of times I have discussed my anxiety disorder. I have talked about it, in depth, to my friends, family, husband, Listen, Lucy followers and complete strangers. I have talked about it on stage in front of hundreds. I have talked about it at meetings and when I am with my support system. I have talked about it with therapists and doctors and I have even talked about it to random people I have met out and about. I have no problem telling anyone every single detail of my struggle.

Listen, Lucy: It all started...to be honest I really don't know where it started, it feels like I was a completely fine one day nothing wrong and then all of a sudden..

I've been dealing with this since the 7th grade when I was 13 and I am now 17 almost 18, and nothing has gotten easier, I've just learned was of dealing with it. I might not look "sick" but I most definitely feel it and it's hard to miss a number of days of school and when you go back have people ask you what was wrong or where have you been.

Does anyone ever wake up in the morning and your eyes shoot open and your mind starts racing a million miles an hour?

Does anyone ever wake up in the morning and your eyes shoot open and your mind starts racing a million miles an hour? Do you ever feel like the muscles in your legs are so tense that you can’t focus, you can’t relax and you can’t stop thinking about how tense your legs are that your eyes fill up with tears and you pace around your room in a way that can only be described as manic? Do your hands and legs shake as you walk and your breath shortens and you feel like you don’t know what is wrong but only that something is very, very wrong and at any minute you are just going to crumble? That a wrong look or a small obstacle could send you into a complete down-spiral? Anyone?

I feel very alone.

I feel very alone. I just got out of a long-term relationship and I know it was for the best and that he wasn't someone I should spend my life with, but it still hurts. It hurts because I thought I was going to spend my life with him. It hurts because I thought he was committed and that he deeply loved me in the same way I loved him. It hurts because he got caught up in another girl and couldn't even decide what to do. It hurts because he wasn't mature enough to handle who I've grown to be and who I'm becoming, and it hurts because I was blindsided by it all. It hurts because I thought he had integrity and character and instead I find out that the person I've loved for so many years isn't who I thought he was.

Dear Hazel, Hudson, Sage and my niece or nephew that my sister is still growing right now. (Hurry up, January!),

Tuesday is a giant day for our country. It is going to make history. You are going to learn about this some day in school. There are actually a ton of things going on right now that you are going to learn about in school. That being said, there are some things that I want to say now while I am feeling them. There are things I want you to know, things you need to know